Firsts

This is the first blog post I have ever written.  I do not promise correct grammar or punctuation in this or any other post I will make but I will do my best. Beginning this blog makes me think of new beginnings in general. A feeling I have been missing. Firsts are so exhilarating, frightening, and rewarding. Being in a long term monogamous relationship has made me envious of the experience of a first kiss with a new person. I worry about never having that feeling again for the rest of my life. It is one of the best one will ever encounter. Getting to stare into someone's eyes with your heart pounding wondering if you could possibly want something more than their lips on yours. The goosebumps and butterflies as you wait for what seems like an eternity for the slightest of movement that brings them closer. Then it all envelops you in a glorious release of tension. It feels like your heart is actually increasing in size. The only sad part is that as much as you grow to love someone every other kiss will pale in comparison. Maybe it's just me.

The fist time you walk into a new classroom, the day you start a new job, meeting a new friend, the first bite of a new food, the first warm day after a long winter when you role down the car window and hang your arm out in the sun, the first time you read you favorite poem, the first time you heard a song that made you believe someone else out there was feeling exactly what you are. The beautiful fleeting moments in life that are bitter sweet and precious because they are so rare. For me it was cool nights in the summer listening to Brand New's "Okay I Believe You but my Tommy Gun don't" or "Soco Amaretto Lime" and feeling completely invincible if only I knew of life then, what I know now. I would have held on to those moments a little tighter and not fought so hard to "grow up." I hope some of you have been able to feel that way at some point in your life, and you continue to find those moments.